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Let’s do one at a time starting with the ‘other man.’ He is definitely looking for love in the wrong place and with the wrong person.His superficial belief that he wants someone else’s woman for the convenience is a lie he defensively tells himself.Instead, defensive stuff happens like distancing from each other or finding another lover to make up for what is not happening in the marriage.
But I think there are plenty of people who never should have gotten together to begin with.Triangles exist simply because a problem is not being resolved in a marriage.Two people get married and have marital problems, instead of resolving those problems either by fixing the relationship or ending it, which by the way can be a valid resolution of a problem, a third party is brought into the relationship, and now you have a triangle.Fundamentally, they are unstable, like three legs on a table.Something always goes wrong, or at least it should, because triangles usually end up hurting people more than anything else.
If the ‘other man’ gets attached he will inevitably at some point start needing more from the married woman. My heart goes out to him more than any one else in this arrangement because he is usually the one who gets disturbed first and has more to lose.