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"; ironically making himself look much more unattractive then he actually is (who is the joke on in this case? **********NOTE: ALL THESE PHOTOS FEATURE BEARDS AND SOMETIMES UPTURNED MUSTACHES********** Some reference to pop culture to prove he is in the know and has a sense of humor: "It's going down, I'm yelling Tinderrrrr." Though this can also swing 180, pretentiously referencing records, bikes, or arthouse cinema. Swipe right, but prepare for texting with this fellow for a couple of weeks before he finally works up the courage to ask you to "hang out" with him and his friends via text. Just don't be surprised when you finally see his house and he keeps apologizing for all the toys his "niece" leaves all over the living room, or when he eventually brings up the fact that him and his ex-wife shares custody of said "niece." Age: 39. "I am dust and live in an urn" is what his bio should say.
In that span, I've gone on a few dates with nice enough guys, and know a few close friends who are pursuing serious relationships with their Tinder matches.ALT: (This is an actual Health Freak bio I came across) "Please have REAL photos of yourself. I'll cook you dinner if you'll let me talk about my start-up app that puts shelter animals in loving homes.I will challenge you and when need be, call you on your sh*t. (Then again, you'll always have this Tumblr, Tinder Guys With Tigers.) Other Vegas Baby pics: Posing in clubs with women many levels out of their league; grabbing the bottle of vodka from a random table to snap a quick pic and hoping no one notices; fedoras, facial hair, bad suits, pick-up artist vibes. Google just bought it from me but it's still my baby." In the words of Dark Helmet in Spaceballs… You're just gonna have to settle for one of the above.Photo: Instagram If you haven't heard of Tinder, then congratulations: You are probably in a loving, monogamous relationship. And the best part about Tinder is you can people-watch without even putting a bra on. For every guy with a nice smile holding a shelter puppy is a dude in a fedora popping bottles at the local T. The "Only Here For Sex" Dude will make things pretttttty clear in his bio, usually by telling you what he's only there for.(SWIPE LEFT) But those of you single and ready to swingle are probably well-versed in the dating app taking the world by storm. But, because of its ease of use and likelihood of being able to "get it in" on a bi-monthly basis, Tinder attracts all kinds. The more confident of this species may even list size if he is so inclined.
The concept is simple: Sign in using your Facebook account, pick your best photos (most of mine originated from the Hubble Space Telescope for prime thinness), and begin swiping people you want to date to the right, and people who must really REALLY have some serious issues happening if your desperate ass doesn't want to date them, to the left. (Only here in LA, for example, most people are swiping for dates when they SHOULD be rehearsing lines for their upcoming CSI: Miami audition as Cadaver 1.) Sounds simple enough, right? For this guy, there is no physical detail or fetish too personal to lay on the line on Tinder. Look, if he took *IT* *OUT* I suggest swiping left for sanitary purposes alone.